Somewhere along the way I decided that I wasn't a good writer. Having spent years as a performer, expressing myself using other's words came easily. But for some reason, using my own language to put voice to my own thoughts and ideas seemed beyond my reach.
As a result, although I have wanted to get my new website up for months now, I also knew that I wanted to include a blog. I love discussing the Alexander Technique with anyone interested enough to listen as well as with my students and fellow teachers. But the idea of a blog seemed like an impossible challenge. So I am starting small and recognizing that my limitations are self-imposed. I can change my mind about them and decide they aren't true.
If I've leared anything from this practice, it is that human beings are creatures of change. We are constantly adapting and revising and refining. If we don't, we get stuck. By thinking that I'm not a good writer, I stopped writing. If I allow that to be an old idea which simply isn't true, perhaps I'll begin again.
I also have to note that part of the hang-up is desire to be a good writer. Wanting my posts to have relevancy and meaning to others, not just to be of interest to me. Alexander Technique teaches us how this attachment to the result, or perfectionism (what he called end-gaining) is at the root of so much strife and stagnation. We simply don't allow for process, or failure, or mistakes and yet that is how we are designed to learn. So often we give up when we feel we're not good at something and lose sight of the fact that the process of writing is what makes good writers, the practice of scales makes good musicians, and athletes train for years before reaching a level of excellence.
So this blog is going to be where I practice getting unstuck. Looking squarely in the face of uncertainty and taking a step anyway.